somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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