Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize