He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
