No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
