so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize