stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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