Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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