I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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