and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.