thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now