TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?