Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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