She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
