His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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