well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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