He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
