I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
