Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
