hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
