I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
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He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I still have a little drunk in my system
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She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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