1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
