Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
