too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
