You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
