Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
