I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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