i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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