is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
