I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
