this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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