Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Umm I'm too high to move.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize