ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
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why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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