I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
