would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
