I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize