is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
