Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
please don't ironically join a cult
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