tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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