Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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