There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
