Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
