so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize