Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize