Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
