I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
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