Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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