absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
