I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
