I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
