my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
