big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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