My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
