It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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