There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
