I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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