Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
