I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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