Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
